Your conflict can be complicated. Solving it is simple.
Here is how you do it…
What you want to do is, first divide the process into manageable steps. Then you simply take those steps in the proper order. When each step is small enough and you are taking those steps in the right order, then and only then, is resolving conflicts easy, comfortable, and efficient.
Most conflict resolution strategies are missing an intermediate step. This makes one of the steps overly complicated, as you are trying to achieve several things at once.
Here is the traditional process we use for resolving conflicts:
The step from "conflict" to "resolution" is often difficult and complicated.
That is the step we want to split into two smaller and more manageable steps.
I STILL remember the day like it was yesterday:
Saturday, February 6th 2016.
The tensions at my workplace had been brewing for years.
And now it had boiled over...
I had stood up for myself and my coworkers. Unfortunately, this had not gone well. The conflict had flared up instantly, and there was no way to get the genie back into the bottle.
After a night of tossing and turning, having gone over the situation in my mind again and again, I was exhausted and stressed as hell.
I decided to get some physical exercise and went for a swim. While I was swimming, a question popped into my head:
"What exactly am I experiencing?"
Obviously I was anxious and stressed, but there seemed to be something more. Then it hit me: "I'm afraid to go to work on Monday!"
I explained the situation to one of them and his response was very simple: "What you are describing is known as workplace bullying".
I was doing everything by the book, and still I was feeling anxious and intimidated.
While I was very grateful for the help and guidance, the conflict remained unresolved.
In the weeks leading up to the conflict, I had been learning about a simple process known as self-inquiry.
The idea of self-inquiry is to resolve internal conflicts by asking and answering specific questions.
(This is not to be confused with any type of religious self-inquiry, such as self-inquiry taught by Ramana Maharshi.)
The problem was that my situation wasn't an internal conflict: it was an external conflict, which involved other people and external circumstances out of my control.
Even though I couldn't see how this could possible do anything to help with the situation at hand, I decided to try it anyway.
I figured it might provide me a moment of repose and perhaps even allow me to relax enough to get some sleep at night.
45 minutes later, my anxiety was gone.
Whereas a moment ago I was dreading going to work and having to confront my colleagues, I was now completely calm, composed, relaxed and at ease.
But it wasn't...
Even though I felt at peace, I was still only halfway.
Naturally, the situation at work had not magically changed. All the external circumstances remained exactly the same and the workplace bullying was still rampant.
I still needed to clarify the situation with my colleagues, and set things straight.
The difference was that this no longer felt like a burden, and I was no longer intimidated by the prospect of having this discussion.
At this point I turned back to what I had learned about traditional conflict resolution strategies.
With the internal conflicts resolved, using those strategies was easy.
I contacted my boss and scheduled a meeting.
We discussed the workplace bullying and how it could be ended. I also reinforced by personal boundaries to keep it from happening again.
All this time, I felt calm and composed. I said what I had to say and the conflict was resolved.
And that is how Plan B was born...
Plan B is not only about self-inquiry.
And it's not only about conflict resolution strategies.
Plan B is using the combination of self-inquiry and traditional conflict resolution techniques in a
simple and streamlined process.
By introducing the intermediate step of self-inquiry, we get this:
In the traditional approach, you need to tackle the external conflicts while still feeling anxious. In Plan B, however, you are already at ease when dealing with the external conflicts and meeting with your colleagues.
The old way
The Plan B approach
Click the button above to learn the easiest way to get started with Plan B and experience the difference for yourself.
Copyright - Juuso Voltti 2017